Suddenly I’m Silent

It was a nasty cough, persistent and annoying. Although I chug-a-lugged cough medicine and hot fluids, downed lozenges, and pumped up the vitamins, this just didn’t stop.

I gave a 2 hour workshop Tuesday morning and coached a client in the afternoon. By the end of that session I was hoarse, and in the morning, I had laryngitis. I went to the doctor, got some pills, cough medicine and allergy medication along with strict orders to avoid talking - even whispering would strain my vocal chords. The pharmacist was speaking softly but when she heard my whisper, she started whispering in return! She is not the only one to have done this.

I’m learning a lot from this experience of not talking for four days and reserving my hoarse voice today.

Our son is pretty good at ready lips and followed my charades. There were certain issues that needed discussion, so pen and pad came out. Among the people I’ve seen, he was the best at lip reading, and I wonder if that’s because he knows me so well or that at 16, he’s used to communicating silently with peers during class.

At home I kept the answering machine on and if my son was around, he was to answer for me and I’d stand by to write notes. Both he and my husband had to make some phone calls for me. It’s made me think of the people who utilize machines to “talk” on the phone, how much personal expression, nuance and emotion is lost in the process. If you’re writing email or IM’s you can include an emoticon so your reader understands more.

I went to the market and when the cashier started to chit-chat, I motioned that I couldn’t talk. She looked at me; spoke a little louder and a little slower, “C-A-S-H OR C-R-E-D-I-T”.

I had a professional meeting and as I enjoy interacting with people, I typed up a list of comments and questions, and at the top explained that I had laryngitis but was not contagious. I wrote things like “how are you”, “what are you up to”, “how’s your family/cats/dogs/horses, etc.” and I’d point to the sentences to get people talking. This did get people talking and laughing. It was good to be posing my questions and just listening.

In my efforts to communicate and put people at ease, I was more expressive and kept an appropriate facial expression – welcoming smile, concern, “and then what” look. I was animated, and went out of my way to “accommodate” others.

If there is some small misunderstanding, it's easier to just let it be than go out of your way to correct it. If you're trying converse by notes, by the time you write a thought, others are onto the next topic.

Working from home, I didn’t need to think much about it, just concentrated on trying to get well and work with some clients via email and messaging.

Had to run over to the market and this time found a clerk who helped me in the self-checkout line. She asked me something and I motioned that I couldn’t speak, and she briefly told me what to do then walked away. If I’d had a follow-up question, I couldn’t have gotten her attention other than running over to her.

Some people have joked that my family must be enjoying this. Yup, that’s funny. You have to assume that either they know my family is funny and sarcastic and has a mean sense of humor OR that they feel my family deserves a break from all the nagging and whining that I do! Quick – which one is it?

Just a brief time of being without a voice has shown me a lot about how isolating this can be, how the person without speech must go out of his/her way to be in this society, and how much you lose when you can’t verbally express yourself.

I’m very grateful this is just for a short time, and have given a lot of thought about people who cannot speak from birth, disease, or surgery. Even if you are fluent in sign language, once you step away from other signers, you’re alone. If you need help you can’t ask for it, if you’re in danger you can’t yell, and if you’re injured or ill you may not be able to communicate your problem.

What work options do you miss out on and what accommodations can be made not just for handling a workload, but incorporating a person into the company?

It’s something to mull over and I hope you have some insights and ideas to share here.