Suddenly I’m Silent

It was a nasty cough, persistent and annoying. Although I chug-a-lugged cough medicine and hot fluids, downed lozenges, and pumped up the vitamins, this just didn’t stop.

I gave a 2 hour workshop Tuesday morning and coached a client in the afternoon. By the end of that session I was hoarse, and in the morning, I had laryngitis. I went to the doctor, got some pills, cough medicine and allergy medication along with strict orders to avoid talking - even whispering would strain my vocal chords. The pharmacist was speaking softly but when she heard my whisper, she started whispering in return! She is not the only one to have done this.

I’m learning a lot from this experience of not talking for four days and reserving my hoarse voice today.

Our son is pretty good at ready lips and followed my charades. There were certain issues that needed discussion, so pen and pad came out. Among the people I’ve seen, he was the best at lip reading, and I wonder if that’s because he knows me so well or that at 16, he’s used to communicating silently with peers during class.

At home I kept the answering machine on and if my son was around, he was to answer for me and I’d stand by to write notes. Both he and my husband had to make some phone calls for me. It’s made me think of the people who utilize machines to “talk” on the phone, how much personal expression, nuance and emotion is lost in the process. If you’re writing email or IM’s you can include an emoticon so your reader understands more.

I went to the market and when the cashier started to chit-chat, I motioned that I couldn’t talk. She looked at me; spoke a little louder and a little slower, “C-A-S-H OR C-R-E-D-I-T”.

I had a professional meeting and as I enjoy interacting with people, I typed up a list of comments and questions, and at the top explained that I had laryngitis but was not contagious. I wrote things like “how are you”, “what are you up to”, “how’s your family/cats/dogs/horses, etc.” and I’d point to the sentences to get people talking. This did get people talking and laughing. It was good to be posing my questions and just listening.

In my efforts to communicate and put people at ease, I was more expressive and kept an appropriate facial expression – welcoming smile, concern, “and then what” look. I was animated, and went out of my way to “accommodate” others.

If there is some small misunderstanding, it's easier to just let it be than go out of your way to correct it. If you're trying converse by notes, by the time you write a thought, others are onto the next topic.

Working from home, I didn’t need to think much about it, just concentrated on trying to get well and work with some clients via email and messaging.

Had to run over to the market and this time found a clerk who helped me in the self-checkout line. She asked me something and I motioned that I couldn’t speak, and she briefly told me what to do then walked away. If I’d had a follow-up question, I couldn’t have gotten her attention other than running over to her.

Some people have joked that my family must be enjoying this. Yup, that’s funny. You have to assume that either they know my family is funny and sarcastic and has a mean sense of humor OR that they feel my family deserves a break from all the nagging and whining that I do! Quick – which one is it?

Just a brief time of being without a voice has shown me a lot about how isolating this can be, how the person without speech must go out of his/her way to be in this society, and how much you lose when you can’t verbally express yourself.

I’m very grateful this is just for a short time, and have given a lot of thought about people who cannot speak from birth, disease, or surgery. Even if you are fluent in sign language, once you step away from other signers, you’re alone. If you need help you can’t ask for it, if you’re in danger you can’t yell, and if you’re injured or ill you may not be able to communicate your problem.

What work options do you miss out on and what accommodations can be made not just for handling a workload, but incorporating a person into the company?

It’s something to mull over and I hope you have some insights and ideas to share here.

Time for an Update or Two

It's challenging to find enough time in the day for all the things I'd like to do. Like many adults, I'm juggling family, career, volunteer activities and my own hobbies. I'm not the best of jugglers, but I try. This blog is one of the things that fall by the wayside.

I understand that a few people are reading this, but I can't see statistics on this site and don't know how many people are out there. I have received some comments in my personal mailbox but not many here. You're welcome to post and I encourage response.

When I started this blog, I was working part-time at one company, then had two part-time positions, back to one now on to other things. It seems to be a trend, this part-time work.

I decided to go back to HR Consulting, Contract Recruiting and doing Sexual Harassment seminars to comply with AB 1825. You can read more about my business at http://www.ourhrsite.com/scindex.html.

It was not the easiest of decisions to return to consulting. I do enjoy being part of a team, learning from others and contributing on an ongoing basis. The changing nature of the workplace especially as it pertains to my field leads me back to consulting.

Much has been made of offshoring, but outsourcing to other companies or individuals are also front and center. Because companies need flexibility and the laws are becoming so complex, it often pays to hire someone from the outside to handle a project.

I wonder what you think of all this. It seems to me that this gives a company flexibility, but I'm not sure of the long-term impact of the situation. I have a lot of thoughts about this but will spare you. I'm brining it up so I can hear your thoughts, concerns, experiences, and recommendations for best utilizing outsourced labor.

What are your thoughts?

Desire for leadership

Our family visited Washington, DC earlier this year. It’s striking to see our magnificent capitol and the monuments to our leaders and memorials for our citizens. It’s very moving to me to see these tributes.

Seeing these sites and reading our history reminds us that we have had truly great leaders who have truly inspired and led, enabling us to maintain our freedom. Millions of people throughout our nation’s history have sacrificed their lives as soldiers or perished as victims.

As I write this September 11, our citizens are deeply in need of inspiration and comfort, security and peace of mind. The images and trauma of this date are inescapable.

We should always remember the terror of this date, and we should demand more of our leaders to avoid another terrible event.

Is it too much to want our politicians to express ideas, plans, and hopes for the nation and not drag the opposing parties through the mud?

Where is our Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Lincoln or Roosevelt? If they lived in our time, would they want to run for office or remain in their homes? Would you want to expose your family to the treatment our candidates endure? Would you like to see some return to civility and decency?

It’s ridiculous for any candidate and his or her family to suffer the invasion of privacy we see as commonplace now. We as Americans should not tolerate it and we should send this message to the press: cover the ideas, analyze the events, and demand meaningful dialogue and debate. Let’s have unbiased reporting and accurate representation of the candidates’ plans. If you’re expressing an opinion, let it be known it’s an opinion, not fact.

We should not be dealing with what I consider to be distractions from the issues. I lived through the years of the Vietnam War and I remember the draft and dissention. I knew boys who signed up, some who were drafted into service and some who looked for any deferment possible. If you’re around my age, you probably have the same experience.

I would never judge anyone solely on the decisions they made at that young age. The current Presidential candidates are around 35 years past their time of service. Why don’t we acknowledge that people evolve and change, that few in their 50’s are as they were at 20?

Previous elections have used flag burning or prayer in school as distractions and that’s not being tossed around too much this year. Now we’re stuck in arguments about Vietnam instead of dealing with more pressing issues such as:

Stability for Afghanistan and Iraq and extracting our forces

Focusing on what’s happening with North Korea, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Israel and the Palestinians

Worldwide healthcare and disease crises – pandemic disastrous viruses, HIV and AIDS

Reasonable healthcare plans for Americans

The Economy

Civil Liberties

Environmental Issues

Education

Poverty

…just to name a few topics. We have huge international and internal issues to deal with, and we don’t need the distractions.

We have a lot of things wrong with the way we approach our elections, and I feel that if we focused on the issues and made some fundamental changes in election laws and in the ways we allow our candidates to be treated, we’ll get the leaders we really deserve. Maybe we’ll have great leaders earning their own monuments again.

And more about voting...

The San Jose Mercury News had an article on August 27 about single women not voting. There is an organization called "Women's Voices. Women Vote." You can read about this group at http://www.voterparticipation.org/.

Their research showed that 22 million women did not vote in the last presidential election.

I saw another article that said only 28% of women between ages 18-24 voted.

My mother knew the issues and was deeply patriotic, knowing that one of our precious freedoms was the right to vote, and that it comes with the obligation to be informed. She would get up early, drive through any kind of weather in order to go out and vote, and she was a great inspiration to me.

There is a website, http://www.vote-smart.org/. This is a non-partisan citizen's group devoted to printing the facts: "biographical information, issue positions, voting records, campaign finances and interest group ratings."

Don't make your decision based on who looks like he'd be fun to hang out with. Don't base it on the best recipe submitted to a magazine, allegedly by the candidate's spouse.

Look at the facts and vote for the person you feel will lead us in the best direction.

Whatever your leanings, and I'm not inviting political discussion, get informed, be involved, GO VOTE. If you're too busy to take time during the day, you can vote in advance and mail it in. This is called an Absentee Ballot. Don't be silent - our country needs our brainpower!

America needs us - I mean all of us, men and women, all eligible ages, races, beliefs, religions. Our thoughtful voices can make a difference.

Precious and Hard Won Right to Vote

I'm not inviting specific political discussion here, but am posting this email this email from a friend. I thought it was important to share, and have also posted it on my website bulletin board. This is a great essay but the author is unknown.

For Women Everywhere
(The author of this essay is unknown.) ***************************************************
Do you ever wonder what to say to all those women who are considering not voting this year?

Remember how women got the vote...

The women were innocent and defenseless. And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty-prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 helpless women wrongly convicted of "obstructing sidewalk traffic." They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air. They hurled
Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a
heart attack.

Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women. Thus unfolded the "Night of Terror" on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there
because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote. For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of
it colorless slops--was infested with worms. When one of the leaders,

Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured
like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because--why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?
Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie "Iron Jawed Angels." It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I
could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder. There was a time when I knew these women well. I met
them in college--not in my required American history courses, which barely mentioned them, but in women's history class. That's where I found the irrepressibly
brave Alice Paul. Her large, brooding eyes seemed fixed on my own as she stared out from the page. "Remember!" she silently beckoned.

Remember. I thought I always would. I registered voters throughout college and law school, worked on congressional and presidential campaigns until I started writing for newspapers. When Geraldine Ferraro ran for vice president, I took my 9-year-old son to meet her. "My knees are shaking," he whispered after shaking her hand. "I'm never going to wash this hand again."

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes, it was even inconvenient. My friend Wendy,
who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was. With herself. "One
thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie," she said. "What would those women think of the way I use--or don't use--my right to vote? All of us
take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn." The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her "all over again."

HBO will run the movie periodically before releasing it on video and DVD. I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum. I want it shown on Bunko night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy. The doctor admonished the men: "Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."

Our right to vote was hard won, and the duty to vote - and vote intelligently, knowing the issues, is a duty of all American Citizens. Whatever your politics, LEARN AND VOTE!

Interesting Outsourcing Data

I was watching CNN today and saw the President and CEO of Aelera, Dustin Crane, speaking about a study he had done regarding outsourcing, costs and success. Their report is on their website at:

http://www.aelera.com/pdf/overhere_vs_overthere.pdf

I've heard complaints from other companies about difficulties in outsourcing overseas and wonder if anyone has some business experience with this. What are the plusses and minuses? Any regrets? Is your company employing people overseas? How are the internal communications? Is it cost effective when you consider infrastructure, smooth communications between teams, travel back and forth, etc?

HR People and Bad Reputations

I've worked very hard to do my best in each job - serving internal and external clients with respect and professionalism, and I know many HR professionals who do the same.

My recent personal experiences along with the experiences relayed by people seeking jobs have given me insight into the reasons why people complain about HR.

It is not my intention to offend, but rather to state what many people outside our field say so openly: they have little or no respect for HR. I'm not saying that's the case for each company as there are many known for stellar HR departments.

I do think it is the case that many people fall into this field because they were good at staffing or they were great administratively, seemed to keep track of paperwork, so were anointed with the responsibility of being the HR person.

Some of those people went to classes, read books and joined professional organizations to learn what they should do regarding: recruitment and retention, compensation and benefits, training and organizational development, etc.

Some of those people were so swamped doing the job they had no time for classes.

Then there are some people, just like in any field, who don't know what they don't know, and have no desire to find out. Simply unprofessional.

There were some great HR people who were laid off during the downturn, so there is either no person in the HR role or someone who is ill-equipped to assume the duties.

And it's either the unprofessional people or the un-staffed or the under-prepared people who give ALL HR people a bad reputation. People generalize.

Here's an example.

A woman, herein called "X", saw an interesting position that had been posted just about everywhere. It suited her background so X went through the laborious chore of copying and pasting her resume into the website, filled in certain fields, and customized a cover letter. And when X clicked on the submit button, up popped a webpage that both thanked her for her resume and said there was an error and the resume was not received.

X repeated the process and received the same message. She called the company and the Receptionist provided X with a name and phone number to confirm receipt of the resume. X left a message on the contact's voicemail. {Also contacted the Webmaster who never replied.}

When X followed up a few days later, the HR person was irate that she had her name and number and demanded to know how X found her! X was very surprised, to say the least, and calmly repeated her information. The HR person grudgingly checked for the woman's resume - and it had not been received.

I've submitted resumes and never received an acknowledgement note, and that's not a big issue for me, however it is a professional courtesy easily extended to candidates. But it's the rude response that stays with you.

The same day this happened to me, I presented to a job search group. Several of the attendees were completely trashing HR people for their lack of professionalism and lack of response. And it's not the first group where I've had this experience.

Common complaints from job seekers:

- I don't know if they received my resume.
- I was called for an interview and never called back, no one called to emailed to tell me what happened.
- I was treated rudely and unprofessionally.
- I was told an offer letter would be sent but they reneged, did not provide any reason.
- They don't seem to value people.

Now I know it's not a job seeker's market, but I really don't feel there's an excuse for this behavior. Additionally, it makes ALL HR people seem inept, and I sincerely resent that.

What can we do to change this situation? Please post your thoughts, experiences and ideas.

Motivation and Change

I recently gave a talk about motivation to a job search group. We discussed what motivation is, why it's important, and how to get it.

Yesterday I received a lovely note from one of the attendees. He had been a VP Engineering for many years and was pursuing a post as a CEO. As a result of one of the exercises, he reconsidered what he really wanted to do. This was interesting: he had been after the top job as he seemed to feel this was the expectation from the world around him, including his retained search friends. As a result of the exercise, he realized that what he really wants is less travel, more time with his family, a fulfilling job but not the top post.

If you're curious about the exercises I gave the group, here's one of 'em.

WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE ACTIVITIES AND GOALS

1. Write down five-ten favorite activities, the ones without which your life would feel empty. You should get to do your favorite activities at least weekly, and preferably, daily.

2. Write down the top five goals you want to accomplish in your career. Your selected career must enable you to reach these goals.

3. List everything you’d like to do in your lifetime. Your chosen career must allow the accomplishment of these dreams or at least, most of them.


Looking at the list and examining my own life, I've come to see that I have some changes to make, too.